This is not going to be a helpful post for you, dear reader. It’s going to be an expressive one, a bit of my life turned art for my own pleasure. Something small and celebratory and poetic to reflect on the fullness of my life, even in lockdown.

It’s also a celebration of my one-year anniversary with Tyler. Perhaps by now you know how deeply and integrally bound I’ve become to this man. It’s hard to describe the bond we found naturally in one another, and the depth to which it was cemented during a year of lockdown together. Perhaps you don’t, as we’ve been fairly steeled away from the world in our first year of romance. Either way, it’s been incredible to witness the powerful correlation between positive psychology and a good relationship firsthand.  

The moments I captured below, during three months in the heart of the pandemic, when cases were skyrocketing globally, contain so much beauty. They are art, to me. I jotted them down before bed every night, a small act to remind myself that everyday had meaning, even if I never left my home. Every day has hints of Ty, shades of love. 

I hope you’ll read this post anyway. I hope you’ll feel something. Mostly, I hope you’ll reflect, and take note, and find your own small moments of meaning. 

And if you’re Ty and you’re reading this, thank you for so many moments of light in what would have been a very dark year without you. 

2020 Moments

The below words were edited minimally from their original state for clarity. 

Living at my grandparents house in Kaneohe, HI

In August 2020, Ty and I took a leap and moved to Hawaii together. We were lucky to have access to an empty house on the east side of Oahu by way of my grandparents, who typically spend their summers on the mainland. It was a test, really, to see if living together was as easy as we predicted it would be. The moments below are a window into the mundane magic of two people falling in love in a house overlooking the ocean, in the middle of a pandemic. I’m incapable of not sharing that the house had no wifi or A/C, but that’s a story for another post. 

9/29: Didn’t leave the property today, but did do a 50-minute “Insanity” video. Watched two “sentient raisins” argue on the presidential debate stage. Argued with Ty about an intermittent fasting study.

9/30: Drank hard kombucha from cans while we finished work. Tried to do a full moon kayak ride but were blocked by clouds. Took a walk and tried to identify stars and planets instead. 

10/1: Kayaked out on the bay while the sun set, drank hard kombucha, and watched the full moon rise. Came home and made our own shrimp spring rolls while Tyler explained the lyrical significance of Kendrick Lamar’s first popular album. Trump got the virus. 

10/2: Saw four apts back to back, really liked a few. Drinks at Aloha Beer Co. and disappointing dinner at 1938 Indochine. 

10/3: Spent 6 hours with Courtney and Steven on our first couples date! At the park and outdoor dining, of course. 

10/4: Spent over $200 across Whole Foods & Down To Earth. Tyler made bolognese and was so proud.

10/12: Cried to Tyler about feeling anxious & therefore depressed. He didn’t really know what to say, but sat with me. At night, he said he was glad I opened up to him emotionally and that I shouldn’t feel bad about it. 

10/13: Ordered Adela’s Country Eatery takeout, kinda felt sick after. Ty and I got annoyed with each other over dishes/cleaning. 

Moved into our apartment in Honolulu

After two months of successfully sharing a bed and schedule and chores, we signed a 6-month lease on an 38th floor apartment in Honolulu, again overlooking the ocean. It’s easily the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived, and it’s imbued with all the warmth and love of a first shared apartment. We lost access to my grandparent’s car when they moved back to the island, but gained access to wifi and civilization. It became an expansive period of folding Tyler into the familiarity of my family, and watching these two very important puzzle pieces of my life click into place. 

10/20: Disappointing day at work. Walked for 3.5 miles around Ala Moana Park & Magic Island for exercise & to call Mom. 

10/27: Worked from Uncle Ken’s office, which was nice. Published first post in Friendship Series. Made a beet salad for dinner. 

11/12: Starting to recover from a cold that is definitely not COVID (got negative test results today). Dinner with my family, but masked and distanced, because I’m still contagious. They make me so happy ☺️

11/14: Saturday: Woke up at 9:30, got sandwiches and went to the beach for two hours. Emptied our minds in the ocean. Got a donut and came back to the apartment to work on our passion projects.

11/15: Brunch at Scratch with Colton and Kat, was disappointed in the food. Hiked Kuliouou Ridge (5 miles) and got torrentially soaked on the way down. 

11/18: Worked 8 hours. Treadmill for 20 minutes during the day. Run & grocery store after work. PIzza night with Ty. 

11/21: Went paddle boarding with Mom in the North Shore and didn't fall once. Lunch at the Haleiwa Beach House, then wine with Grandma and Aunt Michelle. 

11/27: Ate Thanksgiving leftovers, then went on a moonlight boat cruise with the family. Cuddled with Mom on the couch after. 

11/28: Beach with my family, then date night at Tommy Bahama. Admired the full moon and walked through Waikiki. 

11/30: Did “Insanity” with Ty, sunset walk to Mom, dinner and hot tub with the fam. 

12/1: Work. Ran through Magic Island. Dinner @ hot pot with Mom and Aunt Michelle and our guys. 

It’s interesting to me how often I note the moon and sun in these tiny retellings of my days. Perhaps they’ve taken on new significance to me as time has blurred. Perhaps I was simply too busy or otherwise stimulated in the past to take meaningful notice. Or perhaps I’ve found a new lifestyle, in which the dominant feelings are bright joy and peaceful calm. 

This post could have been about the way that the subtraction of social freedoms changed my life, but for some reason, I’m moved to interpret it as the way the addition of Tyler did. There’s a little bit of luck in my story, but there’s also a lesson. Perhaps the way we interpret our lives is far more important than that which actually transpires. Perhaps making beauty from the mundane is one of those secrets. 

Curious about what’s next for Blue Sky Mind? In the coming months, you can expect some “best of Hawaii” content, including fabulous, non-touristy places to mindfully eat and drink on Oahu and the Big Island. I’ll also be sharing some frameworks for designing the life of your dream as a preview into the book I’m writing. And finally, I’m going to start upping my output of really practice advice for mindful eating and movement motivation. You can follow along by subscribing to Blue Sky Mind!